“The Secret to Mental Toughness”

“Physical dominance can make you great. Mental dominance is what ultimately makes you unstoppable.”

Tim S. Grover (Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstopppable)

Every year, I’ve been searching for answers on how to develop and sustain an incredibly, impenetrable mental fortitude in my life. It’s a pursuit that I’ve been grappling with since moving to Indonesia as I constantly undergo the process of adjusting to new working environments, diverse communities, and a culture quite different than my own. Last year, I purchased a book entitled “Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable” by Tim Grover (Michael Jordan’s former full-time personal trainer for the Chicago Bulls in the 90’s and the GOAT of all personal trainers in my opinion) which helped me to a certain extent in understanding how a few athletes in the world enhanced their “already” strong mental foci by being completely, imperturbably dedicated to their own craft whether it’s in the realm of sports, other professions, or everyday problems.

Although there are numerous takeaways that I’ve learned from Tim Grover’s experiences with the athletes he trains and his undoubtedly shining display of athlete successes alongside attained championships, I believe there is one valuable key aspect that isn’t extensively highlighted – something that I believe isn’t highly talked about because it primarily contradicts the human logic of mere hard work in response to the trials and tribulations of life. Mental dominance or mental toughness irrevocably requires vulnerability.

The idea of being “laser-focused” on your own respective professions or calling – be it a coach, athlete, or even a father – was predominantly stated within the book. However, counterintuitively, the underlying repercussion in this claim is that you can only focus on one and dividing that focus inevitably compromises either your work performance or your relationships. It seems that you have to embody this “Superman” persona to get a 100% dedication on your job, family, relationships, and friends; thus, rendering the idea that you gotta focus on either doing ultimately great in one of them while the rest suffers. Being vulnerable on that one particular “laser-focused” profession or calling consequently becomes taboo. The philosophy of self-reliance crumbles when a person becomes vulnerable to the overwhelming pressure and hardships brought by that single pursuit.

As a Christian, I believe that all those priorities in life that make up our daily schedule can be essentially balanced; however, it requires being totally vulnerable before a GOD who sovereignly oversees everything you do and can stengthen you to overcome obstacles which you cannot handle on your own. This is the secret to mental toughness. I used to think that true mental toughness is singularly driven by sheer motivation or the will to succeed. This equation isn’t entirely viable since it unilaterally positions success and the perfection of one’s craft on our own limited palms. We, as any other normal human being, can’t shoulder everything or even our most desired goals by ourselves.

“The art behind truly sustainable mental toughness lies upon the acceptance of the reality that you couldn’t do it all alone and perfectly! It begins with being broken and vulnerable before Jesus.”

Lardizabal (2023)

From that focal point, we can develop a mental tougnhess anchored not on our limited, frail selves but on the everlasting promises of GOD. GOD’s ultimate design, whenever we face adversity within the professions we undertake or the goals we aim to accomplish, is to acknowledge that HE is with us and will help us go through it all – to endure and enjoy HIS presence in this process.

This is not, in any way shape or form, an indictment to the Relentless book I’ve read. It’s a retooling of the mental toughness formula and a refocusing on the Being who guides you in becoming mentally strong – and it ain’t you. I’ve learned this the hard way – prompting myself to think that it’s all about my own determination and self-reliant mentality which elevates me to success. In several instances, be it in work or studying for my Master’s degree in the past, I’ve burnt out and got exceedingly frustrated with the errors or mishaps barricading me from the goals I’ve set. Little did I know, GOD is just waiting for me to come before HIM in brokenness and seek HIS strength to overcome the overwhelming hurdles and doubts.

However, it’s crucial to note that being vulnerable is not an excuse to manifest a “victim” mentality whenever we face difficulties in life. Vulnerability is a take-off airstrip for us to move from the pain and steadfastly persevere in GOD’s calling for us. Thus, true mental toughness or mental fortitude becomes entrenched in our daily endeavors.

To cap this off, may Proverbs 3:5-6 rest with you as you go through developing mental toughness in your own struggles and desires in life:

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
⁶ In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.

Ginosko,

Joseph L.